The Sins of the Mother
by Misha
Summary: After the birth of her second son, Lucretzia worried that he will suffer for her sins. Spoilers for Season 3. Contains Incest.


The Sins of the Mother  
>By Misha<p>

Disclaimer- I own nothing and am not making any money off of this, so please don't sue me.

Author's Notes- I have recently discovered the Borgias on Netflix and have become fascinated by the relationship between Lucretzia and Cesare. This story takes place after the end of season 3. I use the knowledge that the real Lucretzia had a child by Alfonzo and wrote it into the world after the season 3 finale.

Pairing- Cesare/Lucretzia, mild Lucretzia/Alfonzo

Rating- PG-13, there are references to incest.

Spoilers- All three seasons, big spoilers for 3x03 and 3x10.

Summery- After the birth of her second son, Lucretzia worried that he will suffer for her sins.

* * *

><p>"The gods visit the sins of the fathers upon the children."<p>

Those words played over and over in Lucretzia's head as she gazed down at the newborn child upon her breast. If they were true, what did it mean for her sweet baby? For his father had committed many sins.

And what of the sins of the mother? She was not without sin. Indeed, her child had been born out of the ultimate sin—the forbidden love between brother and sister.

"Sweet sister, he is beautiful." Cesare told her, laying a kiss upon her brown and gazing at their son with love and adoration. He had been at her side as soon as he was permitted, just as he had with Giovanni, only the two of them knowing that this time it was different.

"A blessing to you," her mother agreed, "He will help lessen the pain of your tragic loss."

God had been mysterious in bestowing on her a child less than nine months after her husband's tragic death. The timing allowed her to pretend that her new son was the child of her marriage, which allowed him to escape the stigma of being a bastard. Not that she cared about having another illegitimate child, but the child of her brother was a bit more problematic than the child of a groom.

"Another strong boy for our house," her father told her proudly. He smiled down at Giovanni, who he held in his arms. "Another grandchild for me to love and hold."

The comment was, no doubt, directed at Jofre and Sancha, who remained childless.

"He is beautiful, Lucretzia," her sister-in-law told her, though there was pain in her eyes and Lucretzia saw that her childless state caused Sancha much pain. She wondered why she had been blessed with two children, both outside the marriage bed, whereas Jofre, the most innocent of them all, had not been blessed with any. Punishment for Sancha's sins?

If so, then God was inconsistent for Lucretzia's sins were far worse. Sancha might have slept with her husband's brother, but Lucretzia had slept with her own brother, the man who murdered her husband.

The pope's comment could also have been directed at Cesare, whose French wife had born him a daughter that none of them, including Cesare, had set eyes on. Cesare showed no interest in visiting his wife or child, arguing that his military career kept him busy. The pope accepted his explanation, though he occasionally made comments about children were God's greatest blessing.

Still, he did not seem aware that there was more to Cesare's disinterest in family life than a preoccupation with his military duties, but Lucretzia knew the truth. Cesare had no interest in his wife, because her only purpose had been to deliver him an army and he claimed Lucretzia as the wife of his heart. His wife was not the inconvenience that her husband had been, because a husband had the choice to live apart from his wife, a wife had no say in the matter.

Lucretzia wondered briefly if she would be tempted to murder the unknown Charlotte if the other would did possess an obstacle to her and Cesare, the way Cesare had murdered Alfonzo. Dear, sweet, naïve Alfonzo, whose only sin had been to love a Borgia. Lucretzia had wanted to love him, had thought herself capable of loving him, but in the end a Borgia can only true love another Borgia.

"Mine."

The word had echoed in Lucretzia's mind since Cesare had uttered it after Alfonzo's death. Yes, she was his. Forever. She would eventually have to marry again, the Pope would demand it. To give him credit, he hadn't mentioned it yet, letting her mourn her husband and bare her child in peace.

It was the only peace she had. For she was tormented by her own thoughts and guilt and Rome was full of rumors. Rumors about who had killed her husband and why and about the paternity of her child. There were servants who whispered that her marriage had been far from warm in its last days, but they had no proof.

The only ones who knew the truth were her and Cesare and even Cesare had had to ask. He'd come to her bedchamber the night she'd announced her pregnancy to the family. She hadn't been able to bring herself to tell him of her suspicions before, though she cursed herself for being a coward.

"Is it mine?" Cesare asked, staring into her eyes.

For a moment, Lucretzia had considered lying. She'd almost claimed the child as her husband's as a way to punish Cesare for what he had done, but in the end she couldn't do it. Not when she was as guilty as he.

"I had my cycle just before Alfonzo died," she said softly, "and we were not intimate afterwards. There is no way for the child to be his."

No, the child was Cesare's. Perhaps even conceived when Cesare had washed her husband's blood off her and then made love to her, claiming her forever as his own.

Cesare smiled in relief. "God has truly bestowed a blessing upon us," he told her, moving to join her in her bed, "the timing is as much a gift as the child itself."

He had made love to her then, both gentle and triumphant in his touch. For he had claimed her as his own and marked her as such and God had seemingly recognized and blessed the union.

After all the timing truly was a favor from God and Lucretzia wondered why. If the love between her and Cesare was truly sinful then why did God bless them with a child and a way to keep the babe free of scandal? Was it a way to punish them? Would this sweet child suffer for the sins of his parents?

"We should let you rest," her mother said after a moment, kissing her on the cheek. The rest of the family nodded and prepared to leave.

"I'll be along in a moment," Cesare said, "I'd like a moment with my sister."

Their parents simply nodded, no one seeing anything odd with the request. All of Rome might whisper about her and Cesare, but their family was blind to the truth behind those rumors. Perhaps because the affection had been there since Lucretzia was an infant. All her life she had worshipped Cesare and in return, she had been the most precious thing in his life. Their family had become accustomed to the bond between them back then when it had been innocent and could not see that it changed.

Lucretzia thought that Juan would have noticed, because Juan had seemed resentfully aware of the nature of the bond between her and Cesare. Perhaps that was why they had not crossed that line while Juan still lived, because he would have loved to use it against them, but Juan was long in his grave. Another sin that Cesare would have to answer for some day, though Lucretzia could not fault him for taking Juan's life, she herself would have done it, if given the chance.

"Do not stay too long," Vannozza instructed Cesare, "Lucretzia needs her rest."

Then she kissed Lucretzia's brow once more and left, the rest of the family doing the same and then it was just her and Cesare and their son.

"He is beautiful," Cesare told her, his voice rich with emotion. "The most beautiful gift God could give us."

"Do you worry, Cesare, about the burden our sins will place on him?" Lucretzia asked him softly.

"If God truly viewed our love as a sin, he would not have blessed us with this child." Cesare told her patiently. He took her face in his hands and kissed her deeply. "He will be blessed, this son of ours, because he is the product of the greatest love this world has ever seen."

Lucretzia couldn't help but smile at the passion in his voice, yet at the same voice a little voice reminded her that history's greatest love stories rarely ended happily.

"No harm will come to him," Cesare added, "I will make sure of it."

"You will be his greatest protector," Lucretzia agreed, though she wondered if his love and protection would be the same double-edged sword for their son that it was for her. Cesare would defend and avenge her at all costs, but his possessiveness had consequences, as poor Alfonzo had come to learn.

"And yours," Cesare promised, inadvertently echoing her thoughts. He placed a gentle kiss on her forehead. "I wish I could stay longer."

"Even the bond of brother and sister has limits of propriety," Lucretzia said dryly. "It won't be forever."

Soon she would be released from the confines of the childbed and allowed to resume her normal life. Yet, still restricted to the gilded prison she called him, where she lived under Cesare's careful watch and her father's manipulative rule. Where she would eventually be forced to take another husband, but not dare to love him in case he met Alfonzo's sad fate. Assuming she could find a man willing to marry her; many might find the idea too dangerous, since both of her previous husbands had met their end at her brother's hands.

"What will we name him?" Cesare asked after a moment.

"Rodrigo," Lucretzia said softly. "After all, given the circumstance I can only really name him after his father, his legal father, or mine and I can't call the baby Alfonzo, can I?"

She knew it was expected, since Alfonzo had died so tragically, but she would not insult Alfonzo's memory and name the child of his murderer after him.

"I would not allow it," Cesare said fiercely, "I would burn our house to the ground first."

His jealousy of Alfonzo was obvious even still. Jealous of a naïve boy who she had wanted to love, but who could never have been a true rival for her heart.

"Then Rodrigo it is," Lucretzia decreed, kissing her child's head, "Father will be pleased."

She would just state that it was too painful to hear Alfonzo's name and that she wished to honor her father. No one would dare say anything against the choice. Besides, this child had only Borgia blood and so a Borgia name was fitting.

"You are the only one to please him," Cesare said dryly.

"Do you not wish to go to France and meet your daughter?" Lucretzia asked, wondering how he did not long to see his own child. She would do anything for her children, as she had already proven.

"The only child I wish to see is right here, in my love's arms." Cesare told her, kissing her once more. This time the kiss of a lover, not of a brother. In this moment, there would no rules of decorum and he did not have to be a brother, even a very affectionate one, but was instead allowed to be a lover.

"I'm scared, Cesare," Lucretzia whispered, "scared of our future. Of all the blood has been shed in the Borgia name."

Too much blood.

"No harm will come to you or your children," Cesare promised, caressing her cheek. "I swear it."

She knew he would keep that promise, but she knew that did not mean that there would not be more blood. Cesare had proven himself to be quite ruthless when it came to protecting what he considered his.

"You must sleep my love," He whispered after a moment. He placed a gentle kiss on her brow and then he kissed their son, before leaving.

Lucretzia watched him go, holding her child close to her heart as she did so.

She loved Cesare too much to escape him; he was her life, her destiny. Yet, she was terrified of what she had done, of the path she had set herself and her children on. She had gone to him that first time, she was the one that set this beautiful destruction in motion. She was the one that created the chain of events that had led to Alfonzo's death and the conception of her beautiful son.

She did not take responsibility for Cesare's sins, only for her own, and she knew that while Cesare was the one that had murdered Alfonzo, she herself had played a part in his demise. She took responsibility for the sinful love that ruled her heart and for the terrible crimes that had been committed in the name of that love.

"You are a Borgia to the bone, my love," she whispered to her sleeping son, "And because of that I fear for you. It is not easy to be a Borgia and I fear that before long, you too will learn that firsthand."

It was too late to go back. She could not change the past. True, she could end the affair, but she did not have the strength to do so. She was tied to Cesare forever and not just through their son. She would never love another. Could never love another. He was in her blood. Her heart's one true love.

If she could go back to the night of her wedding to Alfonzo, would she make a different choice? If she could, would she seek out her new husband and try to make amends instead of going to her brother and quite possibly damning them both to Hell? Lucretzia knew that she wouldn't. Even if doing so would save poor Alfonzo, she still could not do it.

Loving Cesare was her destiny. She could no more stop loving him than she could stop breathing and her love for him had started long before the night they had crossed from brother and sister into lovers. He had been the centre of her world since she was a child.

Perhaps it was a sin in the eyes of God, but she could not regret it, just like she could not regret the sweet baby in her arms. She loved her Giovanni deeply, just liked she had loved her sweet Paulo, but Rodrigo was special. He was the child of her greatest love, but also the product of her greatest sin.

She would love him deeply, but she would also always worry about him and pray harder for him, in the hope that God would be kind and generous and would not punish this sweet child for the sins of his parents. But she did not have much hope.

For her child was a Borgia and Borgias seemed destined to sin and to suffer.

The End


End file.
